Being a Gladiator

To say the last few years have been challenging is an understatement. Challenges with health, work, self-confidence…all such foreign territory for me. Challenges can sometimes mean losing your voice and I think a big part of my struggle is feeling like I had nothing to say.

Nothing to say?  Really?  Nothing?

Somewhere along the way, I lost my joy. My joy for life. My joy for work. My joy for living. How can that be, when I’ve fought so hard for all of it?

It hit me when I was watching an episode of “Scandal”…ridiculous really, because as much as I enjoy watching it, it is a show with an unrealistic story line.

But there was a scene between the “top gladiator” Olivia Pope and her friend Abby that hit me like a ton of bricks.

Abby says to Olivia, ” There is no man to rescue you. Do you hear me? No one. No one is going to help you.

You are the only gladiator in the place. You are all you’ve got. You have to rescue yourself!”

And so as I go through what I believe will be the greatest heart break of my life and all sorts of uncertainty, I’ve decided that it is time for me to stop being everyone else’s gladiator and really, truly, for the first time to be a gladiator for myself.

And so here is to the hope and faith to getting back to the strong woman I am.

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