Tag Archives: Etiquette

A Desired Guest

As an event planner, I give a lot of advice on being a manner-minded host. Often times, hosts stress about their guests not knowing proper etiquette. So let’s go over some simple rules to follow in order to become known as a desired guest.

Attire: It is fine to inquire with your host about the dress code. But NOT on the day of the event. More than likely, the host has her hands full of set-up or last minute details.

Who is Invited?: It is impolite to ask a host who else is invited to the party. It should be enough that you were included on the guest list.

May I Bring a Guest?: Unless the invitation is addressed “and Guest”, plan on attending the gathering solo. But don’t worry, most hosts are careful to ensure their guests aren’t in a roomful of strangers.

Prompt RSVP: If you have ever planned a party or event, you know that the guest count affects all of the planning (floor plan, budget, catering order, etc.). Be a desired guest and promptly send in your RSVP.

Show Up: If you accepted an invitation, show up! Yes, life does happen and sometimes you may not be able to attend unexpectedly. However, if you have accepted, make every attempt to attend. Your host went through a lot of work (and probably funds) to entertain you.

Being Punctual: Never arrive to a party early. The host is probably applying last minute touches and having a guest arrive before the scheduled time may cause some unnecessary stress. On the other hand, being truly tardy to a sit-down dinner is rude to the host and the other guests.

Be a Social Butterfly: A desired guest does not stand in the corner waiting for people to introduce themselves. I struggle with this as an introvert, so now I look around to see which guest appears not to know the other guests and introduce myself.


I’ve posted this tip before, but it seems appropriate to post it again as the busy wedding season is ramping up.

Assign each invitation a number that is attached to a guest and write that number on the back of the RSVP card.


If you come from a large family like mine (over 90 FIRST cousins), there are quite a few Mr. and Mrs. Wolf(s). Sometimes the RSVP cards are filled out as such and it is difficult to figure out if that is Mr. and Mrs. Jim Wolf or Mr. and Mrs. John Wolf, etc. By comparing the number on the card to the number on your guest list, you can determine the proper guest quite easily.

Also, it comes in handy in this day and age of informality, because often times guests don’t even fill in their names on the RSVP card.