I didn’t think I would say this about one of my favorite television shows, but I am almost to the point of telling Bravo to “pack their knives and go”.

This season of Top Chef is so horrifyingly disappointing.

You are in New York City for goodness sakes! You are in a city with so much culinary talent and yet you have guest judges such as Natasha Richardson and Martha Stewart?

Really?

I was excited to see Wednesday’s episode as I knew they were visiting a farm. Having grown up on a farm that required butchering chickens, milking cows and goats, collecting eggs, baling hay, etc., I thought it was a going to be an interesting episode.

Instead, it ended up being so pedestrian that I thought perhaps maybe my talent level in the kitchen would be good enough to land me on the show (and let me point out that I really only have five or six dishes I’m good at preparing).

You are on a farm and no one decides to make their own butter or ice cream (where was the sorbet-making Jeff)? Have you ever had fresh butter or ice cream? The commercially produced stuff is no comparison to the sweat and tears that goes into making it from fresh, natural ingredients.

It’s not like there wasn’t time, as it looked like a lot of the chefs were moving at a snail’s pace.

Overall, the chefs didn’t realize that they were cooking in paradise. I would kill to have all that fresh produce, meat and dairy products at my disposal. Instead, they viewed it as if they were shopping at Whole Foods.

On another note, I didn’t think in a million years I would defend Ariane and start yelling at the television when they sent her home. However, Leah or Hosea should have been sent packing. Rewarding their bad behavior made me want to throw my remote at them.

Top Chef is supposed to be about cooking, not canoodling. I’m looking for passion in the kitchen, not passion in their condo.

Yes, we watch partly because of the drama, but drama that happens in the kitchen…not during their down time.

The one highlight of last week’s episode was having Hung judge the Quickfire Challenge. However, I was disappointed that they didn’t have him as an additional judge for the Elimination Challenge.

Bravo has wasted the location of New York with collectively the worst cheftestants in five seasons and the worst set of guest judges in five seasons.

Disappointment doesn’t even begin to describe it.

As I was watching reruns of past seasons of Top Chef and catching up with the first two episodes of Season 5, I had this inane feeling that I really didn’t want a European winning Top Chef…I really want an American to pull it out.
Although Fabio appears to be very likable, I am already finding myself taking a bit of a dislike to Stefan. Granted, he appears to be the chef to watch, but I always hate to see bad behavior rewarded. After all, the sweetest chef from last season was also the top chef, which was great to see amidst all the “Lisa meanness” that took over the second half of the season.

One thing I find surprising about Season 5′s cheftestants is the disparity between the top chefs and the weak chefs. Did they all go through the same requirements to compete for a slot on the show?

If there is one thing I have learned about chefs is there really isn’t room for a lack of confidence or disorganization in the kitchen. With timing having to be so precise, an executive chef has to be able to make split second decisions and not go back and second-guess himself (or herself). As event designers and planners, we go through the same thing.

How does someone like Ariane keep making it through each challenge when she so obviously lacks the confidence and conviction in her own food?

There are two things I would like to see in this season’s Top Chef competition: 1) less team challenges and more individual challenges; 2) the chefs having to develop a menu and than move into the role of sous chef on that menu for an accomplished executive chef.

Generally, an executive chef will write a menu and expedite the kitchen. I would like to see how the cheftestants would work under the orders of an Eric Ripert, Daniel Boulud, Jean Georges. They did something similar with Tom Colicchio expediting, but the chefs had a chance to build rapport with Tom, whereas bringing in some of these other chefs barking orders at them might increase the pressure.

I do hope that the trend of the winner of the first elimination challenge tends to be the winner of the top chef competition can be broken. I’m not sure yet which chef I’d like to see win, but I am sure that will become clearer in the next two or three episodes.

Regardless, it is fun to see them in New York City, which is arguably the culinary capital of the world.